Homework is Dumb Sometimes

I have to write a 3 page paper on this piece of metal:

Let me know if you want the final copy. It is going to be a thriller. I think I am going to get it published.

Sometimes you have to take classes that do not help you at all. (example: Archaeology)

Sometimes teachers assign dumb projects. (Example: Find something on the ground that you don't what know what it is and write three pages on it.)

to expand on my last post

I have been realizing how self centered I am in my relationship with God. When I read the Bible I am constantly trying to figure out what I can get out of it today. While God does want us to get something out of the Bible, I think that He is more focused on what we learn about Him than how we change ourselves. At RUF this week Matt preached on doubt. I am not a person who struggles with doubting God's existence, but I am constantly doubting that He will love me no matter what and that He will work everything out. I have a mentality that I have to fix my life and then come to Him. I also create huge amounts of stress for myself by trying to manipulate my life so that everything will work together correctly. Who do I think I am? Last night at College Connection the guy who was speaking said that he coined the phrase, "The messier, the gracier!" I love that. I know that God still calls us to persevere and follow Him, but I suck at persevering. It is so comforting to know that all He asks of us is to try and when we fail He is always there to welcome us back, scold us, and forgive us.

(By the way, the other night I really wanted a hug from Jesus cause I realized that He probably gives THE best hugs. Ever.)

yes.

The fact that I can never do anything crappy enough for God to stop loving me makes me very joyful!

remembering and waiting

I do a whole lot of remembering and waiting. I love to daydream about lovely memories. You know how sometimes there is a time of your life when everything is going right and you have such a sense of purpose and happiness? Well I love thinking about them. I love talking about them. It also makes me miss them, and I just want to relive those moments.

I also love to think about the future. I can't travel backwards, but I can travel forwards and there are bound to be more top of the world times in my future. I love thinking about the next exciting thing, the next break, the next year, being married, and having kids. I'm telling you, it's addictive. Today I even thought about what I want to do when I am an old lady!

I just wonder if I am missing out on now. When I look back to now will I wish that I could travel back? When I am living as if I have to get through these few days/ weeks/ or years until I'm happy can I ever be really happy? And how do I get myself to appreciate the happiness of now? These are the things I wonder.

weak

I feel so weak right now. I am going back to Boone in an hour, but I feel like I need another break. This break has simply tired me out. I'm exhausted.

my very first favorite song

When I was 5 this was my favorite song.

Clumsy - Chris Rice

You think I’d have it down by now
Been practicin’ for thirty years
I should have walked a thousand miles
So what am I still doin’ here
Reachin’ out for that same old piece of forbidden fruit
I slip and fall and I knock my halo loose
Somebody tell me what’s a boy supposed to do?

I get so clumsy
I get so foolish
I get so stupid
And then I feel so useless
But You’re sayin’ You love me
And You’re still gonna hold me
And that You wanna be near me
‘Cause You’re makin’ me holy
You’re still makin’ me holy, yeah

I’m gonna get it right this time
I’ll be strong and I’ll make You proud
I’ve prayed that prayer a thousand times
But the rooster crows and my tears roll down (again)
Then You remind me You made me from the dust
And I can never, no never, be good enough
And that You’re not gonna let that come between us

I get so clumsy
I get so foolish
I get so stupid
And then I feel so useless
But You’re sayin’ You love me
And You’re still gonna hold me
And that You wanna be near me
‘Cause You’re makin’ me holy
You’re still makin’ me holy, yeah

From where I stand
Your holiness is up so high I can never reach it
My only hope is to fall on Jesus

I get so clumsy
I get so foolish
I get so stupid
And then I feel so useless
But You’re sayin’ You love me
And You’re still gonna hold me
And that You wanna be near me
‘Cause You’re makin’ me holy
You’re still makin’ me holy, yeah